Amazingator - Where Everything's Amazing!

Suburban Hero: Jamie Saves Baby From A Fire She Had Started

Jamie saved the baby!
Illustrative photo of Jamie


Brookhaven, AtlantaLocal cashier Jamie Swinton (46), is now a local hero of her quiet American suburb, after rescuing one-year-old Baby Mark from a horrible fire in his house.

Questioned by our correspondence, Jamie was eager to go over Tuesday’s events. “After starting the fire with some gasoline and a box of matches, I realized the house was going to burn up pretty quickly.

“I had to push his mother out of the way”, she adds, “she was practically hysterical when she saw me light up her house, and tried to keep me away from her baby. I knocked her unconscious, and without really thinking about the risks, I plunged ahead and grabbed Baby Mark. I ran outside with the baby in my arms, stopping only to rescue some jewellery from the bedroom.”

Jamie just wanted to be a hero
Jamie actually looks like this

When questioned later by the police, Jamie admitted to starting the fire herself, but with good reason: she felt her town was in desperate need of a hero. “The recession’s been hitting us hard”, she acknowledged with tearful eyes. “Everyone’s depressed around here, so many people are without jobs… no one is smiling anymore. I just wanted my neighbours to smile! And Like me! On Facebook!”

And Like her they did. Jamie’s friends’ count on Facebook soon soared from 32 to 57. Even the local car washer gave her that famous thumbs up. “She’s a hero”, he tells us. “Is it something anyone would do? Sprint ahead into danger like that? I don’t think so. She deserves our likes.”


The Amazingator is a Satirical Website, Powered By Amazing Fairy Dust, Ground from Real Fairies